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August 03, 2002

Paul McCartney's wife was urinated on
Wire Services | Submitted by: King of We
"Heather Mills, new wife of ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney, has described how someone urinated on her head during a period of homelessness while she was living rough on the streets of London... "There was this stench and I realized my hair was soaked -- a tramp was urinating on my head."

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Canadians sue US over hemp confiscations
ABC News | Submitted by: Rembrandt (Harmenszoon) van Rijn
"A small Canadian company is using the 1994 NAFTA treaty to sue the U.S. government, claiming restrictions on hemp-containing foods have devastated their business. "Under international law they actually have the obligation to compensate the people whose business they're taking."

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Nordic gimp crisis
Norway Post | Submitted by: Rabbi Harold C. Turner
Why is 10% of the Norwegian workforce on disability?

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GPS sparks boundary wars
MSNBC | Submitted by: vomit
GPS systems are allowing state authorities to restate previously surveyed borders: "The Lilligrens and their three children could end up in a different school district, and answerable to a new set of state and local authorities. Already, North Stonington says it plans to add their property to its tax rolls, along with six other residences on the 25 acres between the old survey line and the new one. The town of Hopkinton plans to contest the move, which it calls a blatant land grab."

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Earth getting fatter
BBC | Submitted by: Boat6float
"Scientists have known for some time that the Earth is not a perfect sphere... But now new research published in the journal Science suggests our planet is getting even wider, if only by the odd millimetre."

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California steak thief
Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star | Submitted by: f00f
"Authorities didn't have to bring in the blood hounds to solve the case of the missing meat. "It had been stolen and a trail of meat juice was followed up to the next door apartment," said sheriff's deputy Blain Smith... The steak never made it back to the grill. "I doubt if it was returned and I don't think they booked it in evidence."

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What in tarnation is going on here?
Edinburgh News | Submitted by: wingnut
"Workmen scheduled to tarmac a stretch of Oxford Street in the city’s southside found the abandoned vehicle in their way when they arrived to start work. The badly damaged Ford Fiesta which had been abandoned on a yellow line a month earlier had already been served with two removal warning notices. The road squad was told the car could not be removed because the owner could not be contacted and were instructed to tar around it." With goofy picture.

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Court orders man to stop digging wife's grave
AZ Central | Submitted by: Bo Orly
So much effort and creativity has been devoted over the years to pissing off one's soon to be ex-spouse, you would think there's nothing new to try. You'd be wrong. A creative fellow in Illinois with, apparently, a strong back and a lot of time on his hands, has taken to digging holes in his wife's driveway that look like graves. The best charge they could come up with is disorderly conduct, with the judge admonoshing, "This digging business has got to stop." No doubt Leroy "digger" McClure can think of one way to make the next hole he digs the last one...

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Birdlike candidate with nothing to hide
Wire Services | Submitted by: wingnut
"[Congressional candidate] Kalogianis, 39, acknowledges his two-year stint with "Men in Motion" more than a decade ago when he was a law student in Boston. In his act, Kalogianis wore a bird costume that masked his face but exposed his legs. It ended with him doing a chicken dance and tearing off the bright yellow costume to show his French bikini thong to crowds of women throwing money." Fantabulous photo of the candidate!

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Thought police target Marriott
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Blade Jones
Local prosecutors with nothing better to do decide to pressure major hotel chains from offering adult entertainment to customers in the privacy of their own rooms. Unlike a "normal" pornography case, where they might actually win, it's unlikely such a case would win, so they gave Marriott special treatment that would not be afforded any other type of suspect: "The prosecutor’s staff decided that warning the Marriott before filing charges would be the most effective way of preventing the dissemination of obscene material."

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And they said irony was dead
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: Blade Jones
"Three members of a Chukyo TV Network news crew covering pickpockets in Rome ended up with egg on their face after they fell victim to some of the Eternal City's artful thieves, network executives said Saturday."

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Two brothers kill niece's dog
Toledo Blade | Submitted by: anonymous
"Photographs taken at the scene show the large black dog lying in a pool of blood. Its mouth was tied shut. Its throat was slit. And an 18-inch machete was lying across the wound. A 25-pound barbell weight, possibly used to beat the dog, lay nearby. "The suspect was standing covered in blood... when we approached, he took off."

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Camden mystery blobs are wax
AZ Central | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
The New Jersey black mystery blobs explained, or so they say: "State and county officials said the stuff is paraffin wax and poses no risk, but they won't venture a guess as to how it got reached the Waterfront South neighborhood."

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Flatmate's ear kept in freezer
New Zealand Herald | Submitted by: CF in NZ
"A man's ear was bitten off, then stashed in a freezer, in a bitter row between Auckland flatmates... He has now moved out of the flat... 'They are not friends now', said Detective Sergeant Simon Scott, of Auckland."

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Deaf arrested for obscene gesture
Sun | Submitted by: Steve Nutley
"[A strapping deaf lad] made the sign for 'I am deaf', the first two fingers held together and pointed at an ear. But bobbies Steve Hawkins and Richie Smith thought he was making a V at them and arrested him in Sunderland."

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Russian commandos love Airborne Day
Pravda | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"It would be ok if this holiday would always end with swimming in fountains, but, unfortunately, it usually ends up with a big fight in one of Moscow’s areas. Commandos go to beat up people of the Caucasian origin. Since this happens every year, the Caucasians are used to it, so they get ready as well."

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Three thousand grenades in garden
Sun | Submitted by: wingnut
"Steve Eckton started digging the foundations for his new patio. and found three thousand grenades. The Army team then had to examine each device, believed to be from a World War Two weapons store on the site of single Steve’s home."

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Chinese mines not a good place to work
World Socialist Web Site | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Official figures show that in the first six months of this year 3,393 miners perished in accidents that occurred on an almost weekly basis. The victims suffered the most hideous deaths in gas explosions, roof collapses and mine flooding in private mines, both legal and illegal, as well as government-operated mines."

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