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July 15, 2002

Geriatric fugitive cruises the country in style
Kansas City Star | Submitted by: wingnut
"The hunt's still on for a nervy bank robber and the $166,000 motor home investigators said he bought with the loot, but now the FBI has a good idea where to find him. Agents talked to the 75-year-old man's friends and family, and think he probably is still in the Midwest, cruising the heartland in style with a 2002 Holiday Rambler Endeavor."

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Johos protect child molesters
BBC | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
The Joho's are apparently competing with the Vatican: "The Jehovah's Witnesses organisation keeps a sex offenders register that nobody outside the church is allowed to see, a former "elder" tells Panorama. Bill Bowen, who has spent his lifetime as a Jehovah's Witness and nearly twenty years as an elder, says the organisation covers up abuse by keeping this database secret."

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Big brother Taiwan style
Channel 4 | Submitted by: imasweetlovinguy
In Taiwan, "spy" cameras have become so popular that they are even being placed in people's showers and even in public toilets. "And it doesn't stop there. Chu Mei Fung, a former television star and legislator, was devastated after the distribution of a video purported to be of her entertaining somebody else's husband. It was recorded by a pinhole camera hidden in the bedroom." Video clip has longer story.

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Naughty Naked Nigerians
Wire Services | Submitted by: hgunited
Women protesters in Nigeria threaten nudity: "Most Nigerian tribes consider unwanted displays of nudity by wives, mothers or grandmothers as an extremely damning protest measure that can inspire a collective source of shame for those at whom the action is directed." By this technique they were able to hold over 700 prisoners while themselves being unarmed.

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Practicing for the Pike's Peak Mountain Climb
Baltimore Sun | Submitted by: jakonman
Two dumbshits in an SUV opted for a bit of highspeed tomfoolery in the parking garage at the Howard Johnson's in Ocean City Saturday night. They broke through a barrier (+1 point) and plunged four stories downwards (+4 points), killing one instantly and the other several hours later (game over).

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Cripple sues strip club over wheelchair access
myCFnow | Submitted by: Rio
"A quadriplegic has sued a strip club, charging that it violates the Americans with Disabilities Act because the lap dance room does not have wheelchair access. The lap dance room is only accessible by a short flight of stairs, according to the suit." Quads need handjobs, too.

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Iran's Leaning Tower of Penis
Iran Mania | Submitted by: lawboy
"Advertisement for a 'miracle' impotence cure depicting a man vying to raise Italy's Tower of Pisa which has left hardliners in the Islamic republic fuming after it ran in Tehran's main official daily, Iran, over the weekend. The advert by a health-ministry-approved drugs firm claimed to offer a 'miracle' treatment for impotence with '98 percent success rate."

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Serial drive-by cow killer
myCFnow | Submitted by: Rio
"There is a drive-by, serial cow killer on the loose in Acadiana, Louisiana. In the past eight months, 14 cows standing near fences have been shot and killed -- the victims of apparent drive-by shootings. The last animal was killed about six weeks ago, agriculture department spokesman Lloyd Dartez said."

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EU Socialists want to ban Happy Hour
Sun | Submitted by: Jerry Bourbon
European socialists, in a heroic effort to protect the people from the depradations of the evil purveyors of drink, are seeking to ban pub and bar "happy hours" throughout the European Union.

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Judge smacks down spanking insurance
Law.com | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"The ruling is a victory for New York-based American Home Insurance Co., which insured former Seymour, Conn., attorney Milo J. Altschuler during the time he allegedly took a client across his lap, lifted her skirt and repeatedly slapped her buttocks inside a conference room in Superior Court in Derby, Connecticut."

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