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July 10, 2002

Overcome by poo gas
Des Moines Register | Submitted by: Epicurious Crabcake
"Two workers were not using safety equipment available at the scene Monday when they drowned in more than a foot of watery sewage as noxious chemicals permeated the area, Des Moines city officials said Tuesday... "These guys were well-trained professionals. They weren't in their swimsuits diving into the sewers."

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Macho moron tells all
Guardian | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
If you ever wondered why guys run with the bulls in Pamplona, kindly allow this British gent to clue you in: "My fitness has never been better and my side-step, carefully honed by hopscotching the piles of dachshund crap in Holland Park, is immaculate. But it would be churlish to believe that any amount of training or study of bovine psychology or, indeed, note-taking during key scenes of Gladiator, will assist me in this most masochistic of human activities. Ultimately, if you choose to run with the bulls at Pamplona, you relinquish all sense of personal responsibility. No one in their right mind would attempt it voluntarily, which is why most runners drink away the night before their 8am meeting with death's personal assistants." Ah. Very enlightening.

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Jail is so, like, totally gross
New York Daily News | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"The blond woman who dashed brazenly onto the field Opening Day and slipped her phone number to Derek Jeter had a night to remember, but not with the hunky Yankee shortstop... Armed with a warrant, cops hauled her away in handcuffs from her job at Bergdorf Goodman..."I, like, totally didn't fit in," said the Long Branch, N.J. woman, whose job puts her in contact with mostly Fifth Ave. types."

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Bullies use blowtorch to attack 7 year old boy
Mirror | Submitted by: Phatlor
"A boy of seven was seriously injured when bullies used a makeshift flamethrower to set fire to his feet and legs. Three schoolboys grabbed Christian Scarlett, then one sat on him as the others burned him with an aerosol can and cigarette lighter."

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If thy neighbor's hand offends thee
New York Post | Submitted by: Phatlor
"A Queens man's severed left hand was reattached yesterday, just hours after it was lopped off by a machete-wielding man enraged because the victim was shooting off small fireworks on their block."

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Russian man dies from exploding sign
online.ie | Submitted by: KC
"A Russian man was killed today when a sign with an offensive slogan [displaying the words, "DEATH TO JEWS"] exploded as he was trying to remove it from a park in Kaliningrad, police said."

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A 'traffic' school for Brooklyn John's
New York Post | Submitted by: Jane Ho
Finally, a traffic school for those who patronize hookers: "The Brooklyn district attorney is offering the five-hour rehab course to first-time offenders starting this month. "They'll have to answer questions like, 'Does soliciting prostitutes interfere with your daily life? Do you spend your money on pornography, more than you can afford?'" Never mind that prostitution is a victimless crime that should be legalized to take organized crime out of the picture.

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Mafia dons protest doing hard time
London Telegraph | Submitted by: Phatlor
"Jailed Mafia bosses, including the godfather of Cosa Nostra, Salvatore 'Toto' Riina, have started a hunger strike in protest at tough prison conditions which they claim are unfair."

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Naked couple tries to scalp landlord
Billings Gazette | Submitted by: April Lawrence
"Prosecutors allege the couple stripped, painted their bodies and then attacked Luella Loga Balhiser, 53, and her 82-year-old mother, Ella Loga, with knives inside a home on Poly Drive early Friday morning. They later allegedly told authorities they went on the "warpath" and intended to scalp the two women."

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The rotten life of India's widows
Christian Science Monitor | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"After her husband died a year ago, Ms. Das's status suddenly plummeted. Now, she is a bad omen at social gatherings. She must never remarry, wear colored saris, or eat anything but the blandest food donated to her just once a day after hours spent strictly in prayer. Some old friends even shun her as a witch, believing she caused her husband's demise."

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Mom breast feeds 8 year old on live TV
Chicago Sun-Times | Submitted by: Bog
"While reading from a Harry Potter book, a fully clothed Stuckey was shown briefly nursing her son, something she said occurs once every 10 days to two weeks, even though Stuckey said she is unsure whether she is still producing milk." Said the woman, apparently with a straight face: "I think people need to see me and see my child and realize that this is a perfectly normal practice. We are your standard middle-class American family, and we're not doing anything wrong."

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Drug counselor dies of overdose
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: SweetJulie
Another case of the wolf watching the chicken coop.

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Vatican plays God on the web
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
Apparently part of the Italian constitution gives the government the power to prosecute blasphemy against the Catholic Church, notwithstanding the fact that it's in direct violation of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. And thus a special police unit has somehow forced two sites (hosted in the US of A) to be shuttered, although this was with coercion against their Italian owners. The second link is the story in Italian and has more detail. You can still dig the actual site out of Google cache if you are really interested, but it's pretty much a steaming pile of uninteresting poo.

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