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June 20, 2002

Robots escaping
The Age | Submitted by: Jube
"Professor Noel Sharkey said he turned his back on the drone and returned 15 minutes later to find it had forced its way out of the small make-shift paddock it was being kept in. He later found it had travelled down an access slope, through the front door of the centre and was eventually discovered at the main entrance to the car park when a visitor nearly flattened it with his car."

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Aliens blamed for cattle mutilations in Argentina
MSNBC | Submitted by: george_lazenby
Argentina is sending scientists to the remote plains of Pamas to investigate farm animals found dissected, mutilated and drained of blood. At least 70 animals have been found killed with genitals and tongues pulled out with surgical precision and surrounded by charred grass with no signs of blood stains. The cattle's entrails are said to have been removed through a burn-like incision in the animal's rear.

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Australian censorship to be kept secret
Australian IT | Submitted by: Soylent
"Electronic Frontiers Australia had requested access under the Freedom of Information Act to a number of Australian Broadcasting Authority documents relating to censored websites." The ABA claims they are not releasing URL's because it might let people find child porn more easily, but oddly they are refusing to release URL's of material judged completely legal. So nobody really knows what's being censored and what's not.

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Drunken scot in deep shit, again
BBC | Submitted by: george_lazenby
"A woman has been fined for leading her horse into a police station while she was drunk... She then entered the police headquarters and led her elderly pony Cheval across the foyer. However, it became frightened, reared up, and defecated on the floor. Police took away the horse and gave Duthie a bucket and shovel to clean up the mess."

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Did NSA have 9-11 information on 9-10
Washington Post | Submitted by: Soylent
"Intelligence agencies aren't sure if a conversation in Arabic intercepted Sept. 10 was a warning of the next day's attacks at the World Trade Center and Pentagon, an intelligence source said Wednesday. The conversation intercepted by the National Security Agency suggested that a big event was to take place the next day. It was not translated until Sept. 12."

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Mother torched daughter who slept with boyfriend
Miami Herald | Submitted by: f00f
"[Tarrago] acknowledged pouring gasoline over her then-15-year-old daughter on Dec. 6, 1999. The motive, according to prosecutors, was jealousy after the teen had become romantically involved with Tarrago's 25-year-old boyfriend. During Tarrago's trial, her attorney insisted she poured the gas on her daughter merely to scare her. She never intended to ignite the fire, despite brandishing and flicking the lighter, Soven argued."

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Going rate for Souls: $17
BBC | Submitted by: f00f
"The 26-year-old, from Newcastle-upon-Tyne, posted an advert on the eBay site and his soul was bought by a man from Oklahoma in the US, for $16.95. Mr Malham said the buyer wanted a new soul as he had lost his own in a bet over a game of air hockey."

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Millionaire's dobermann rips off girl's arm
London Telegraph | Submitted by: Spookbabe
"A passing woman motorist stopped, beat the dog back with her umbrella, grabbed the children and pushed them into her car. By then the dog had bitten through the girl's arm below her left elbow. Her brother was bitten on both arms and thighs."

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Man accused of making bioweapon
Wire Services | Submitted by: Spookbabe
"Olsen, 47, was allegedly making ricin, a deadly extract of castor beans. Traces of ricin have been found by U.S. troops in Afghanistan at suspected al-Qaida biological weapons sites, Brown said... Ricin is twice as deadly as cobra venom. In very small doses, it causes the human digestive tract to convulse."

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Felon poses as priest, is arrested
AZ Central | Submitted by: pyromaniac.net
"Freddrick Mark Brito, a convicted forger and thief, spent several weeks at Immaculate Heart parish before U.S. marshals arrested him on June 11 on a California warrant alleging grand theft and embezzlement."

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Fish-blender artist offers heroin as exhibit
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: smacker
"First it was goldfish in a blender. Now Marco Evarista, a Danish artist, has created 30 artworks using paint mixed with heroin - which he plans to promote by giving the drug away to Danish addicts."

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Naked mermaid sues cops
New York Post | Submitted by: Phatlor
"Gunderson was wearing a sea-creature costume - consisting of a thong and blue-green body paint - when she caught the attention of the cops before the parade last June. She got a summons charging her with violating public exposure laws and had to wear Band-Aids over her nipples."

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Monks evicted from temple
News Corporation | Submitted by: Mark Knipe
"Seventy Buddhist monks have been expelled from a Cambodian temple for scandalous behaviour including embezzling money, visiting brothels, and watching pornographic videos."

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Man blows up truck with Kool-Aid
Seattle Post-Intelligencer | Submitted by: ian m.
First Jim Jones, now this: "A man who said he was experimenting with a Kool-Aid-containing explosive compound for homemade fireworks when his truck blew up will remain in jail pending a federal grand jury investigation... "The U.S. military experimented with it, and tried to stabilize it and couldn't," [said ATF Special Agent Eric Floyd]... At least one pyrotechnics Web site describes the compound as very dangerous and notes it will explode if it sits in the sun. Webster, who has been fired from his job at a Safeway store, was described by his boss and co-workers as "moody" and "disgruntled," Floyd testified.

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Guilty! He chopped up the vicar!
BBC | Submitted by: Phatlor
"The jury at Lewes Crown Court found Christopher Hunnisett guilty of killing the Reverend Ronald Glazebrook, 81, from St Leonards, East Sussex, in April 2001. Mr Glazebrook's severed head and limbs were found in a bag behind a leisure centre in Hastings and his torso was discovered near Eastbourne."

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Would you like some cum with that coffee?
Syracuse Post-Standard | Submitted by: Tonester
"In pleading guilty, Castle, who has been a county employee for more than 30 years, admitted he had been masturbating into the coffee cups of co-workers."

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Northwest militiamen antics
Seattle Post-Intelligencer | Submitted by: ian m.
"Its leader, an unemployed ship painter-turned-commander-in-chief named John Pitner, convinced ragtag followers that an invading army had picked state Route 9 through rural Whatcom and Skagit counties as the New World Order's path to conquest... The deputy director of Alpha One, a contractor named Fred Fisher, was once convicted of incest for molesting his stepdaughter. It didn't stop him from standing up at the Rome Grange to extol family values and outline U.N. plots to take children "from the moral authority of their parents." "Beware parents! The U.N. wants your children for its world plantations."

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Alabama Manure Tea cures colds
Birmingham News | Submitted by: Mr. Ramon
"Veteran state Sen. Hank Sanders of Selma, whose mother served it to him when he was a boy in Baldwin County: 'It often tasted different, depending on what the cow had been eating. I can't recall a time it not working.'"

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Heads Up!
Wire Services | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"A fighter plane flew too low at a military airport in central Sweden on Thursday, burning six visitors on the ground, three of them seriously, an air force spokesman said. Radio reports said the Swedish-built "Viggen" - or "Thunderbolt" - jet swept just 10 yards above the group in the airport near Uppsala, 40 miles north of Stockholm."

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Republican perv suicides in bathroom
Johnson City Press | Submitted by: kaleidoskope
Tennessee Republican State Rep. Keith Westmoreland, charged with exposing himself to children in a hotel hot tub in Florida (after a similar incident in Tennessee in March) killed himself in his bathroom with a shotgun blast to the chest. Update on earlier story.

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Retards use Get Out of Jail Free Card
CNN | Submitted by: LadyC
The Supreme Court ruled today that you cannot execute tards. Now all someone convicted of murder has to do is fake their IQ being lower than 70, to get a life sentence instead of capital punishment. Approximately 3% of the population has an IQ below this number, but estimates vary between 9% and 17% when examining prisoners as a group.

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Chicks-with-dicks sue Toys R Us
Newsday | Submitted by: Waingro....who else?
"Wearing heels, a short skirt and her blond hair in a bun, McGrath told the jury that she considers herself a woman. She said she has undergone hormonal therapy, gotten breast implants and married a soft drink delivery man." [our emphasis]

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Sweatiest cities in the nation
Minneapolis Star Tribune | Submitted by: bammer
All Hail San Antonio, TX.

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Why We're At War
New York Times | Submitted by: Mr. Ramon
This is perhaps the most extensive written account of what people experienced in the upper floors of the World Trade Center's twin towers in the moments after they were hit by jets, as told by people who managed to get out and by family members who were contacted by those who did not in their last communications. "As Ms. Wein came to, she had her own battered body to deal with: her right arm was broken, three ribs were cracked and her right lung had been punctured. In other words, she was lucky. All around her were people with horrific injuries, dead or close to it. Ms. Wein yelled out for her boss, Mr. Kestenbaum. When she found him, she said, he was expressionless, motionless, silent. Ms. Hagerty, who had joked about the cats at home, showed no signs of life when a colleague, Ed Nicholls, saw her. And Richard Gabrielle, another Aon colleague, was pinned to the ground, his legs apparently broken by marble that had fallen on them. "

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Snoring juror causes mistrial
KMBC-TV 9 Kansas City | Submitted by: anonymous
"[Judge] McNally questioned the snoring juror after he and several others in the courtroom noticed that she slept continually, sometimes emitting loud snorts, as witnesses testified. 'The snorts made it difficult for others to focus on the testimony,' claimed a fellow juror."

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Burglars torture goldfish
This is Brighton and Hove | Submitted by: Pyro
"A goldfish was cooked alive in a frying pan and another was flattened and burnt with an iron. A third fish was thrown against a wall and killed. Burglars ransacked a house in Brighton, trashing all the rooms before torturing the pet fish. The owners, a couple and their two teenage boys, were on holiday at the time."

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Turning your back on Leader Bush now illegal
Livejournal | Submitted by: CharlesO
Keep in mind that this is at a public school, Ohio State University: "Graduating students were told that they would be expelled and arrested if they turned their backs. They were alerted that dozens of staff members and police officers would be watching the stands, as well as the Secret Service. A few students asked for the definition of expulsion... did it mean removal from the stadium or refusal of their diplomas, or both? One of the persons at the front said "Both."

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Parents outraged at school sex survey of preteens
AZ Central | Submitted by: anonymous
"The survey had asked youngsters if they thought about having sex, if they thought about "touching other people's private parts" and if they didn't trust people because they might want sex.... By robbing the claimants of the right to control their children's upbringing, the district simultaneously robbed the students of their innocence and the claimants of their status as parents." The survey has been stopped.

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