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June 16, 2002

Mojo finally buried after 80 years
theeagle.com | Submitted by: QREPLY
"Mojo has been a Calvert resident since he died while passing through the town 80 or so years ago. Over the decades, he eventually mummified as he was shuffled between broom closets and dank basements. Each time the funeral home changed hands, Mojo went along with everything else, whether the new owners wanted him or not."

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Family of year charged with abuse
CNN | Submitted by: Fagan
"Two parents recently honored as the [Illinois] Foster Family of the Year have each been charged with felony child abuse... Daniel Vesterfelt is accused of sexually assaulting a minor in early 2000, according to court documents." What were the runnerups like?

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Coitus interruptus results in beating with pipe
Anchorage Daily News | Submitted by: fredbox
A man having sex with his girlfriend in a Spenard alleyway was interrupted by a passerby who said "are you having fun?" Rather than completing the act, he found a metal pipe and started beating the hapless remarker. From the criminal complaint: "Spontaneous interruption of a public sex act to engage in an aggravated assault should be considered as a strong indication of a seriously unaddressed anger management problem"

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Congo Republic says 60 'Ninjas' killed
Stuff NZ | Submitted by: wingnut
"Congo Republic's army said it killed 60 "Ninja" rebel fighters and that eight other people were killed today in some of the worst fighting for years in the capital of the oil-rich central African country... Residents saw armed Ninja militiamen stripped to the waist, wearing magic charms around their necks to ward off bullets."

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Saudi Propaganda
Fox News | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
The Arab Radio and Television Network has been airing some rather controversial material, including a 3-year-old girl who describes Jews as being "apes and pigs" and a psychiatrist talking about how much fun being a suicide bomber is: "The height of ecstasy and happiness and I am talking to you as a professional, a psychiatrist comes the moment ... just like the producer told you: ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, and then he presses the button to blow himself up."

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Who REALLY Controls the Internet
Salon | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
A new book goes into detail about how the Net has been bought out by the superpowerful in order to abuse copyright law and become masters of the Universe. "Ultimately, the free-speech utopia of cyberspace is evolving into a domain where corporate interests have more power to control speech than they have had in other arenas."

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The King of Porn of Gwinnett County
Atlanta Journal-Constitution | Submitted by: Porn Peddler
"Cornetta is the Larry Flynt of Gwinnett County," said attorney Jennifer Kinsley, who has represented him as well as Flynt, who was shot in Gwinnett County. "They are both tireless advocates of the First Amendment."

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Questionable 'German Intelligence Report'
Libertarian Socialist News | Submitted by: Purevil
"On Monday 6, August, 2001, at 17:50, [German] Ambassador Ischinger personally notified the President of the United States that information developed by the Bundesamt fur Verfassungsschutz [German domestic secret service] as well as the BND [Bundesnachreichtendienst, German foreign secret service] indicated that an attack by a radical Arab group partially based in Germany was to occur on 10-11 September, 2001." Yes that sounds very interesting but from another article: "The document given to LSN as a background report on September 11 was produced by a convicted counterfeiter Peter Stahl, who is an informer for the federal government and currently living under the assumed name 'Gregory Douglas' as part of a federal witness protection program." Uh huh.

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Teabagging at the World Cup
Yahoo! FIFA | Submitted by: anonymous
A goofy picture you should probably see.

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New Yorks Not So Finest
New York Post | Submitted by: wingnut
"A peace officer who took a photograph of his girlfriend's sleeping 14 year old daughter with her breast exposed has been busted, police said yesterday. Stanley Bates, 30, an employee of the city's Department of the Homeless, allegedly was caught in the act by his live-in girlfriend, police said."

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Prepare for robot people
Canoe | Submitted by: Veegor E Manpants
They're not preparing to destroy humanity, but humans are getting robot eyes implanted. "A Canadian man who lost his sight in an accident nearly 20 years ago is one of a select group of people to have some vision restored by having electronic artificial eyes implanted in their brains."

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Guns, kin, booze and money
Durango Herald | Submitted by: D. Rango
Rural Colorado hijinx: two guys are kicking a 68-year-old and smacking him with a board. The old guys's wife gets pissed, fires two shots from a rifle. The daughter, 14, joins the fray by fetching a shotgun that is too big. She misfires the weapon into concrete, and pellets nick her leg and her brother's side. The beaters hide until coaxed out by cops. A sherrif's investigator goes out on a limb by saying "alcohol was believed to be involved" and "the assault likely stemmed from a money dispute." Can you hear banjo music playing?

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Home Depot refuses US gov business
St. Louis Post-Dispatch | Submitted by: Soylent
"Home Depot Inc., the nation's largest hardware and home improvement chain, has told its 1,400 stores not to do business with the U.S. government or its representatives... When asked what the statement meant and what it had to do with purchases by an FBI agent in St. Louis or an Environmental Protection Agency investigator in Seattle or a supply sergeant for an Army Reserve unit in Ohio, Gray declined to comment, other than to say it's an old policy."

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