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June 12, 2002

Woman dies of mucus OD watching World Cup
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Ross
"A Chinese woman who suffered from asthma died when she choked on her own mucus after getting overexcited watching China play against Brazil in a World Cup match, state media said today... "When she saw the Chinese team lose the game by 0-4, she coughed up a mouthful of mucus, choked and fell to the ground gasping," the report said."

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Tijuana plans JailCam on Internet
San Diego Union-Tribune | Submitted by: Soylent
"Likely candidates include the holding cell area and an alley where detainees are frequently taken out of police cars and brought into the building. As a public service, one camera might also be directed at the offices where residents go to submit claims for less-serious crimes, such as stolen goods."

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Jesus loves little baby carrots
PETA | Submitted by: wingnut
"Waving a sign reading, "For Christís Sake: Go Vegetarian," St. Louis native and Harvard Divinity School student Jeremiah C. Bird, reenacting the role of Jesus, will bring a pro-vegetarian message, based on biblical teachings of love and compassion, to attendees of the Southern Baptist Convention." (One of two SBC stories today.)

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Aloha McSpam! Blechhh
Pacific Business News | Submitted by: wingnut
"The 78 McDonald's outlets in Hawaii have begun test-marketing a breakfast meal that consists of egg, rice and Spam. Spam has been a laughing matter on the mainland since babyboomers were babies, but the Hormel product made from pork parts is staggeringly popular in Hawaii."

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I didn't shoot Idi Amin
Guardian | Submitted by: treetopflyer60
"He was directly across the tiny aisle from me, and a holstered pistol dangled through the arm rest. I thought to grab it. Then I wondered what happens if you shoot a very fat man in a confined pressurised cabin? Does the bullet ricochet around inside him or go straight through, penetrating the aircraft skin, sucking us out after him?" The African monster dictator is a permanent guest of Saudi Arabia.

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Can we have our A-bomb back please?
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: enola
"Remnants of the atomic bomb dropped over Hiroshima have been auctioned for $167,500, but the American government says the sale is a breach of national security and wants to block the buyer from claiming his purchase."

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Secret Service enjoys porn at Whitehouse
US News and World Report | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"The U.S. News inquiry revealed other problems. Secret Service agents assigned to the elite Counter Assault Team, which responds to any attack on the president, sometimes watch pornography on White House satellite channels in the "band room" in the basement of the executive mansion."

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Mutilated corpse gag backfires for MTV
myCFnow | Submitted by: Rio
"The Washington couple has slapped MTV and the Hard Rock hotel-casino with a $10 million lawsuit. The couple said they were given a room with hidden cameras. Their reaction to finding what looked like a corpse was filmed for the MTV series "Harassment."

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Eminem pisses off al Qaeda
Sky News | Submitted by: anonymous
"His joke is believed to have offended bin Laden's Al Qaeda network, and US intelligence agents have informed Eminem that a bounty has been placed on his head." This sure does smell like a planted story.

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Preacher calls Muhammad a demon pedophile
Ft. Worth Star-Telegram | Submitted by: Mighty Tim
"A former Southern Baptist Convention president stirred interfaith tumult when he described Muhammad, Islam's revered founder, as a "demon-possessed pedophile"... The Rev. Jack Graham, the new president of the Southern Baptist Convention, and the Rev. James Merritt, outgoing president, supported [Former SBC President] Vines." Apparently one of Muhammad's wives was only nine.

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Banned brain surgery to be allowed
The Scotsman | Submitted by: Spookbabe
"Mentally ill patients will undergo brain surgery without their consent under a controversial law being introduced in Scotland which directly contravenes guidelines set out by the United Nations."

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Is Padilla really John Doe #2 from OKC?
Fucked World | Submitted by: John Berger
Speculation based on the police sketch of unaccounted-for OK City co-conspirator "John Doe #2" who looks an awful lot like Jose Padilla, alleged dirty bomber, who incidentally has the same surname as Lana Padilla, ex-wife of Terry Nichols, who just happened to have claimed that Nichols was funded by Al Qaeda terrorists operating out of the Philippines.

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Parliament to vote on pussy
Wire Services | Submitted by: Ted
Finally, something interesting on C-SPAN 2. British lawmakers, appalled by an infestation of mice in their parliamentary digs, have brought a motion to get a cat. Yes, British taxpayer money is hard at work! The full house of Parliament must vote to decide if the matter should be taken further.

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Jailbirds eating pigeons
Wire Services | Submitted by: Eric
"Officials at Indiana State Prison are warning inmates not to eat pigeons after the administration learned offenders may be eating the birds... One inmate, Fred Brooks, alleged the prison has cut back on the amount of food served, tempting inmates to eat the birds."

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Radio from the grave stopped
SAPA | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Saying he was a threat to public order, police dug up a Turkish radio DJ who was broadcasting live from a grave. Entombed in an aerated metal box, Yasar Naci Kurtcu was planning a 24-hour special broadcast live from the grave on Sunday on local Izmir station Radio Hit."

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