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May 04, 2002

Palestinian corpse invokes Lazarus effect
Israel Insider | Submitted by: Soylent
"The film was screened to foreign reporters and later shown on Israeli television, causing considerable amusement among the TV commentators and journalists, since the "corpse" kept tumbling out of the blanket. "One time he falls off the stretcher when he is already in a crowd," Col. Eisen narrated. "When he came back to life in the middle of the crowd, the crowd breaks up because they didn't know that it wasn't really a corpse."

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Detroit high school toilet baby
Zwire | Submitted by: anonymous
"A 5-month-old fetus was found Thursday in a bathroom at Roseville High School after students had complained about a clogged toilet. Police and school officials spent much of the day trying to determine the identity of the mother."

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Congresswoman protests suicide bomber game
Newsday | Submitted by: Soylent
"An online cartoon simulation called "Kaboom," in which the protagonist is a suicide bomber who blows up men, women and children as well as himself, has prompted a U.S. congresswoman to protest. In a letter to Tom Fulp, who runs the Web site that has posted the game, Rep. Nita Lowey of Westchester urged the webmaster to delete the game from the site immediately." The second link is the game, on Newgrounds.

Read article... and This article...

Boy kills another boy with insulin
ABCnews | Submitted by: Soylent
"A 16-year-old Washington state boy is set to be arraigned today on charges that he bound his 8-year-old neighbor with duct tape and fatally injected him with a massive dose of insulin because the child was "bugging" him... They said after the boy died, Alexander took a razor blade and sliced deep gashes into the body."

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Prince Philip's humor unappreciated
Wire Services | Submitted by: Soylent
"Speaking to the blind Susan Edwards, wheelchair bound and accompanied by her guide dog, he remarked: Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?" Other examples of his inappropriate hilarity are given. Points for Prince Philip in our book.

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Senator Hollings considered dangerous
The American Lawyer | Submitted by: Soylent
"The prospect of gumming up the works of the globe's most exuberant engine of technological innovation and prosperity by subjecting it to bureaucratic notice-and-comment rule-making is unthinkable. Though there are a handful of precedents for modest government intervention into consumer electronics design, at least one of those -- the 1992 requirement that digital audiotape recorders be equipped with a "serial copying management system" -- was a notorious commercial and technological failure."

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18 People Gassed at the Happiest Place on Earth
KNBC-TV 4 Los Angeles | Submitted by: Matt Nelson
Eighteen guests were injured when somebody "accidentally" set off a mace/pepper spray type keychain in the Honey, I Shrunk The Audience 3D movie attraction. Seriously, anyone in an attraction that lame kinda deserves it.

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Whoops, teen abstinence advocates knocked up
cbs2.com | Submitted by: anonymous
"Two of the winners in a sexual abstinence essay contest in Paterson are pregnant. [D'oh] Eboni Wilson wrote, "having sex with a condom is like playing Russian roulette with your life."

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Esmerelda is missing
Durango Herald | Submitted by: Mr. Farmer
"She has blue hair, though it is, as they say in polite circles, not her own, and her wig may have fallen off during her abduction, in which case she is bald. She has a glitter tattoo on her right shoulder and a silver belly button ring. Esmerelda was last seen wearing black vinyl clothes of various descriptions, including a mask and a leather bullwhip. She does not have hands."

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And the Lord said unto Shrub, Shut Up Already
Washington Post | Submitted by: wingnut
A White House prayer meeting turns ominous as the weather threatens to smite the President. "The voice of thy thunder was in the heaven: the lightnings lightened the world: the earth trembled and shook." [Psalm 77]

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Teacher has sex with retard
Hartford Courant | Submitted by: Freekiee Girl
Joanna Lynn Diaz, 36, admitted to having a sexual relationship with the 15-year-old special education student that she was hired to help, according to school records documenting Diaz's firing. School officials say Diaz and the boy did not engage in sexual activity during the school day or on school property. Police believe the alleged crimes took place in one of the two Diaz family cars."

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"His name is Robert Paulson"
MSNBC | Submitted by: the chuck wang
An ex-state bio-lab staffer was busted yesterday in a rural community on the outskirts of New York state's capitol after police found a cache of homemade pipebombs and dangerous chemicals in the basement of the home he shared with his parents. The disability collecting, hazmat loving loser was a well known menace in the town of Sand Lake, NY. The thing that makes this more interesting than the usual rural milita bust is that the accused in this case shares his name with the big busted character played by Meatloaf in the recent David Fincher film Fight Club. "His name is Robert Paulson, his name is Robert Paulson..."

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