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April 26, 2002

Ritz serves up dead mouse pate
St. Joseph News-Press | Submitted by: Amy P
"A St. Joseph family was seeking answers Thursday after their sixth-grade daughter reported opening a sealed package of crackers and finding a dead rodent inside. Rebecca Frazer, a student at Hall Elementary School, said she pulled a sleeve of Ritz Crackers out of her book bag Thursday morning and noticed something strange: a dead mouse in the bottom of the package." With photo.

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Toilet Paper Vigilante
Pensacola News-Journal | Submitted by: Number-6
A man's response to getting toilet papered reads more like the script to Falling Down: "An angry Michles, 40, bolted from his home and chased down the culprits. Police reports state that two teen-age boys said Michles pulled them from a vehicle, punched one in the mouth, dragged both to the porch of his home, then went inside and came back with his 9mm Glock, which he pointed at the other teen's head."

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US activists demand lawyers for chimps
BBC | Submitted by: Santtu
A slippery slope that ends with Planet of the Apes: "The Chimpanzee Collaboratory says that chimpanzees are so close to humans, sharing 98.7% of our genetic make-up, that they deserve to get the same kind of legal representation as children. Campaigners say this would let activists act as legal guardians for the chimps, potentially lodging law suits against researchers and animal entertainers."

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Black holes not black, not holes
Science Daily | Submitted by: Max
A new theory "redefines black holes not as "holes" in space where matter and light inexplicably disappear into another dimension, but rather as spherical voids surrounded by an extremely durable form of matter never before experienced on Earth." But then the men in white lab coats get kooky: "They even suggest that the universe we now know and live in may be the interior of a Gravastar."

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School principal eats worms
myCFnow | Submitted by: Rio
This is the usual "principal promises to do something dumb if students actually study; students actually study; principal does something dumb" story that we've heard countless times before. A Central Florida school principal made good on a promise Friday to eat a bowl of worms. With video, though I didn't bother to watch it.

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Men dead in a vat at a health food company
Wire Services | Submitted by: Anonymous
"Two workers were found dead Thursday afternoon after apparently suffocating in a large stainless steel tank at a natural foods manufacturing plant. Rescue crews responded around 2:30 p.m. to Spectrum Naturals Inc., and found the pair unconscious in an empty tank that company officials said had been filled with deadly argon gas as part of a cleaning process to expunge oxygen." Before you start worrying about the perils of argon gas, it's only as toxic as water.

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Fudge-covered Viagra?
Cleveland Plain Dealer | Submitted by: Karl w/a/K
"A 73-year-old retired psychologist nabbed in a child-sex sting went to SouthPark Center mall in Strongsville Ohio with a bottle of Viagra and a block of fudge. He admitted that he intended to have sex with a person who he thought was a 12-year-old girl. He had actually been exchanging e-mails which included requests for sex with an FBI agent."

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Russian deputies want to outlaw homosexuality
St. Petersburg Times | Submitted by: M. Glusker
"A group of lawmakers - including Russia's main representative to the Council of Europe - say they have begun a campaign to shore up the morals of the country by recriminalizing homosexuality. Four State Duma deputies, Dmitry Rogozin, who heads the Russian delegation to the Council of Europe, Gennady Raikov, Vadim Bulainov and Gadzhi Makhachev - have introduced an amendment to the Criminal Code that punishes sodomy with up to five years in jail."

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Fish eats fisherman
Wire Services | Submitted by: Kinaya
"Human remains found inside a huge tiger shark caught off Australia's eastern coast belong to a missing fisherman, police said Wednesday. Police said the remains inside the 815-pound shark were those of 52-year-old Kang Suk Lee, from Sydney."

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