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April 24, 2002

Karzai's hat made from aborted lamb fetus
Fox News | Submitted by: Clare McGuire @ Atlanta
"Though the hats are unmistakably dashing, the method of their production is a bit stomach-turning. Shepherds in northern Afghanistan slaughter the mother and then remove the fetus, whose downy fur is incredibly smooth because it has never been exposed to the air or sun. Sometimes shepherds wait for the ewe to give birth before killing the lamb."

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Fucking toads mistaken for a two-headed mutant
MetroWest Daily News | Submitted by: anonymous
A girl to whom the facts of life were insufficiently explained mistook a pair or mating toads for a mutant two headed monstrosity: "That's a nice pair of American Toads mating," said Peter Mirick, a Westborough-based field biologist for Mass Wildlife. "All frogs and toads are amplexus, which means the male locks onto the back of the female during mating." Several bystanders were fooled as well. Also it's a slow news day in Massachusetts.

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Baby dies while parents play pachinko
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: LucrezaBorgia
"An 11-month-old girl died of dehydration in the back of her parents' car here while they were off playing pachinko, police said... Miyashita admits to the allegations and has also admitted to initially lying by saying his daughter died while he and his wife were shopping." That makes it a lot better, of course.

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Snooker tainted by streaking
BBC | Submitted by: Soylent
"A man wearing only his socks and an Eriksson mask cut out from a national newspaper suddently appeared beside the baize. Trying vainly to protect his modesty with the rest of the newspaper, he briefly interrupted the first-round match between Paul Hunter and Quinten Hann." Inexplicable behavior from a streaker, heretofore unknown for their modesty.

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Fat pigs win battle
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Burp
"She burps and farts and snores, everything my husband does so I'm pretty used to it. She gets up on the bed when she wants to have a little bit of R'n'R and tries to get under the doona. But when she gets up, one of us has to get out of bed because she's so heavy. She's already broken a couple of slats."

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The Jewish Question hits Gujarat
The Hindu | Submitted by: Soylent
English students in Gujarat were faced with an interesting exam question: "There are two solutions. One of them is the Nazi solution. If you don't like people, kill them, segregate them. Then strut up and down. Proclaim that you are the salt of the earth." Note also that in Gujarat, over 800 people have been killed in recent minority related violence.

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Forget about Junior, let's have sex in public
Des Moines Register | Submitted by: BJ the Duck
A woman and her "friend" are in a slight bit of trouble after having sex in a parked car while the woman's 18 month old kid wandered around nearby. But that's not the frightening part. Apparently they were so horny they couldn't wait to find a good place, so they just parked across the street from the county courthouse. In mid-morning. Too dumb to be permitted to breed.

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Woman's finger amputated after manicure goes bad
myCFnow | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
A Kansas City woman won a settlement against a nail salon after she was forced to amputate her index finger after getting her nails done... "Then they filed again. Then they drilled. Then they filed, drilled, picked, drill, filed and soaked, and [her acrylic nails] still would not come off," Burgess said... This process went on for almost four hours."

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Get Back At Your Boss Day
New York Post | Submitted by: ROTLanta
"A big-mouthed, bully foreman who lorded over a construction site was found dead yesterday with a pickax buried in his skull, police said... "He yelled and screamed and used all sorts of profane language. He had a big mouth. I guess he won't be screaming anymore."

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