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April 11, 2002

US military creates indestructible sandwich
New Scientist | Submitted by: Yarbo
"Capable of surviving airdrops, rough handling and extreme climates, and just about anything except a GI's jaws, the new "pocket" sandwich is designed to stay "fresh" for up to three years at 26 C (about the temperature of a warm summer's day), or for six months at 38 C (just over body temperature)."

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Man Shot Playing Army-Men With Friends
Newsday | Submitted by: Dr. Diabolical
A Long Island teenager was shot and killed with a 9mm rifle when one of his best friends offered to demonstrate "a technique he learned which was designed to clear a room of potential targets". Unfortunately the technique performed flawlessly, clearing the room with a bullet ending in the head of Fred Reinhart.

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And you wondered what that funny smell was....
KUSA-TV 9 Denver | Submitted by: bdragon
"Police say [Chad] Counseller had set up different parts of the ventilation system, like rooms of a house. Police found a watch and a camera reported stolen from the fitness club. Police say he may have been there for weeks. "There was a lot of trash... He had quite a bit of clothing up there, there were food items." It all ended when he fell through the ceiling, much like the scene in Breakfast Club when Judd's fall caused him to never finish his joke.

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Man Locked In Closet For 10 Years
Pensacola News Journal | Submitted by: anonymous
"An elderly Foley couple were arrested Tuesday, accused of collecting welfare checks for years on their mentally handicapped son, whom they kept locked in darkness for at least a decade before he died... [Police] found the body of Eugene Williams, 39, locked in a back room. Although Williams was 6 feet tall, he weighed only 75 pounds. Police said he had been dead four or five days."

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We named it George W.
National Post | Submitted by: Alton Vauge
"Members of an Israeli tank brigade waging an offensive in the West Bank found a unique way to show how they felt about the U.S. President: they adopted a stray dog and named it George W. Bush. "He's a cowboy," one soldier said as the brown pit-bull terrier prowled an Israeli hilltop encampment overlooking the city of Nablus. "He barks a lot," said a second. "But he's useless," another chimed in.

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Art that takes a shit (on a daily basis)
New Museum of Contemporary Art | Submitted by: Kinaya
"The food is chewed by a garbage disposal device before traveling on a 27 hour long digestive trajectory, through six glass vats connected by tubes and pipes, pumps and various electronic components that are Cloaca's stomach, pancreas, and small and large intestines. The "digesting" food is constantly kept at a precise 37.2 degrees centigrade and each of Cloaca's "organs" is full of computer-monitored enzymes, bacteria, acids and bases such as pepsin, pancreatin, and hydrochloric acid. The product finally goes through a separator and the remaining solids are extruded onto a conveyer belt." The second link is an audio story on yesterday's NPR.

Read article... and This article...

Japan willing to build nukes
Agence France Presse | Submitted by: Soylent
The leader of Japan's opposition Liberal party committed a blunder on many fronts when he warned that Japan had capability to become a major nuclear power "overnight". Nothing is gained from stating the obvious here except the antagonism of China. Ichiro Ozawa: "It would be easy for us to produce nuclear warheads. We can produce thousands of nuclear warheads overnight. We may have enough plutonium at nuclear power plants for 3,000 or 4,000 rounds."

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Saudis also paying suicide bombers
UPI | Submitted by: Soylent
Our "friends" the Saudis have paid out millions of dollars in direct support to suicide terrorists over the past year and a half, and has earmarked tens of millions of dollars for more. The U.S. condemns Iraq for this exact behavior, but top officials (Rumsfeld) profess ignorance for our own major ally's behavior.

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A really friendly organist
Go PBI Palm Beach | Submitted by: Billy
"Black-booted bodyguards hanging around the church. Suspicious parishioners hiring detectives to tail a flamboyant music leader to an adult video store. A battle over a $250,000 organ. A priest confronting his accusers and firing church workers. Tearful parishioners leaving a church they've loved for years..." Says the accused fellater: "This man is a good man, and I love him as many other people do. Sure, I hug him, I give him a kiss -- I do that to 80 percent of the people in the parish. I'm that type of person. I do that to everybody." THAT'S the Catholic problem in a nutshell.

Read article... and This article...

The woes of Ed McMahon
Los Angeles Times | Submitted by: george_lazenby
"Ed McMahon is suing his insurance company for more than $20 million, alleging that he was sickened by toxic mold that spread through his Beverly Hills house after contractors cleaning up water damage from a broken pipe botched the job. McMahon and his wife, Pamela, became ill from the mold, as did members of their household staff. The McMahons also blame the mold for the death of the family dog, Muffin." The modern American tragedy.

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