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April 09, 2002

Priest a founding member of NAMBLA
Boston Herald | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
Rev. Paul R. Shanley had preached the Gospel in major cities. And in December 1978 he preached the virtues of pederasty at the first meeting of the Man-Boy Lovers of North America (later to be renamed the North American Man-Boy Love Association). When this was reported in print three months later, the Catholic church relocated him to another parish. When he was accused of molestation and rape, the church moved him to San Diego. Shanley believed that incest and bestiality were harmless activities, and continued to espouse "man-boy sex" and openly associate with NAMBLA members. All of this appeared in documents recently turned over by the Archdiocese of Boston.

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Weiners, the Scooby Snack of Choice
St. Petersburg Times | Submitted by: Evil Badstar
Florida bites, and it's a diner's smorgasbord! Our inhabitants love a good international feeding--first it was our mosquitoes with their West Nile Virus, then it was our sharks with a hankering for the buffet of European tourists, and recently, our alligators got into the act by trying to consume small Japanese vehicles. But our K-9 units have gotten into the act and proven that they love a good old fashion American weiner! Just ask Scooby. Or better yet, ask Mr. Raphael Scott...

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Cat Attack on Dog Constitutes Hate Crime
MSNBC | Submitted by: Paratact
Richard Espinosa of Escondido, California has added a Hate Crime allegation to his $1.5 million lawsuit of last November, following an attack by a feline library mascot on his dog. Excerpts of its original text follow: "The feline then suddenly and without provocation began hitting and clawing Kimba with both front paws with claws extended while screeching, pausing briefly and then renewing the attack" As a result, Espinoza has suffered "significant lasting, extreme and severe mental anguish and emotional distress including, but not limited to, terror, humiliation, shame, embarrassment, mortification, chagrin, depression, panic, anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, loss of sleep [and] loss of full enjoyment of life as well as other physical and mental afflictions and pain [and] suffering." What a whiner.

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Security forces teen to drink biology experiment
Rocky Mountain News | Submitted by: Covix
"A Pennsylvania high school student says he drank his biology homework on orders from a security official at the Aspen airport. Elliott Gosko, 14, is now being tested for the painful stomach illness giardia."

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Rats Eat Corpses in LA Coroner's Office
Associated Press | Submitted by: Coprogenous Earth
Rats are eating the auxiliary unit of corpses kept by the Los Angeles Coroner, causing "disfiguration to the head, face, neck, toes, hands and groin areas of the bodies". The story was broken by Spanish language television station KMEX. Bodies stored in this location are mostly unclaimed or of the indigent. But still tasty.

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Jeff Gordon: Faggot!
Michigan Live | Submitted by: Meskine
NASCAR's fair-haired boy apparently likes fair-haired boys. "[Wife] Brooke has charged him with 'marital misconduct', and the fact that she intends to sue his DuPont uniform off his back should be Clue No. 1 that this isn't about him forgetting her birthday. Whatever the secret, it won't be good for the squeaky clean Christian image he has maintained for the past decade."

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Richard Nixon on the ballot in Alabama
Associated Press | Submitted by: econobiker
This should be a win for him if just for the "hell, what the fuck" votes. Nixon had trouble convincing election officials he was on the level, and will no doubt have trouble writing his Checkers speech.

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Japanese flat houses dead babies
BBC | Submitted by: Mutagen
A woman whose six children have been found badly decomposed in a Tokyo suburb apartment said she gave birth to the last of her children almost ten years ago. According to police forensic experts, the ages of the children are estimated to be from six months to several years old. In what sounds like a truly fucked up horror story, the woman lived in the apartment with various other members of her family until they moved out after falling behind with their rent. A cleaning company was called to clean the flat before new tenants moved in - the grisly discovery was made soon after. I wouldn't have liked to have been the poor bastards cleaning the place.

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