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April 06, 2002

Ballsy rapist does his deed in broad daylight
Fort Worth Star-Telegram | Submitted by: Narcoleption Reflux
"It was broad daylight when Thelma Robinson looked outside and saw, in the middle of a busy east Fort Worth street, a naked man raping a woman at gunpoint. She called 911. Several others who apparently happened upon the sexual assault that day did not." The alleged rapist, James Thomas Wright Jr., is nicknamed Pookie.

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Alligator tries to eat Mitsubishi
Sarasota Herald-Tribune | Submitted by: Evil Badstar
"The car started shaking, and it was lifting the front end up. I just thought I was dead. I was screaming. I thought it was going to come up through the floor." At some point the alligator, apparently pissed because she ran over it, decided not to finish eating her shiny new Mitsubishi Eclipse. The article ends with a pithy quote from the dinosaur rock band Cream.

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Amateur filmmakers bury woman alive
Click on Detroit | Submitted by: Casket
"Danielle Taylor told police that she was attacked by a group of friends inside a Lapeer County home. She claims that she was bound, blindfolded and put into a car. She was then driven to a field where the suspects placed her into a shallow grave and partially buried her in dirt and snow... During the trip to the field Taylor says that her life was threatened. When she got to the grave site, the suspects said that they were going to bury her alive." With video.

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Teacher Calls In Bomb Threat
The Oregonian | Submitted by: f00f
"Hyde said a woman called the school's front office at 12:35 p.m. to report a bomb in the school. School staff called police and the Beaverton School District's security force. [...] Minutes after the first call, a woman who didn't identify herself called to ask whether the Mad Science class had been canceled." Memo to Kimberley: if you're going to call in a bomb threat, don't do it from your own phone.

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Police say man wanted dirty housekeeper
Cincinnati Inquirer | Submitted by: Idle Hands
"Monroe police began investigating Tuesday after several women reported that, when they responded to the ad, 'he said it was not only for housekeeping, but sex was part of the job,'... As [undercover Maid-Detective] Fogle was trying to leave, Detective Staples said, Mr. Back told her something [suave] like, 'Let me see a sample of the merchandise.'"

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Baptists boycott HoJo's for hosting bondage con
Associated Press | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
Uppity baptists are boycotting the Howard Johnson's chain because they are holding what they term a "sex-torture convention" which is in reality a Leather and Lace SpanksGiving extravaganza. The annually held Southern Baptist Convention, which might seem like a wonderful place for prostitutes to find a pious john (attendance approximately 9000 undersexed men), is certainly showing its intolerance.

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Homo Thugz
Village Voice | Submitted by: polymorf
"A lot of people don't like faggots. There are all these myths about faggots being soft and feminine, like you're lacy and wear chiffon and listen to Barbra Streisand. Straight-up homies, niggaz, and thugz can do what they want. You can walk through projects and be gay. But you can't walk through the project and be a faggot, because that's when they'll mock and harass."

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