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April 03, 2002

Woman tried to trade her daughter for chihuahua
The Oklahoman | Submitted by: f00f
"According to an investigator's affidavit, Brenda Yeatman told police Smith, 21, offered to trade her 7-month-old daughter for a $200 Chihuahua puppy. Yeatman said Smith later changed her request and offered Yeatman legal custody of the baby for $2,000." What's more disquieting: that she wanted a Chihuahua instead of a real dog, or that the investigators *think* she has custody of the child?

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Landlord forces tenant to drink motor oil
Times Herald-Record | Submitted by: Wraith
"Deputies and detectives from the Ulster County Sheriff's Office say the 26-year-old Walker Valley man forced a woman tenant whom he accused of stealing three cigarettes to drink motor oil early Sunday. Police say that he held a knife to the throat of the woman, 64, and threatened to cut off her fingers. He also forced her to smoke three cigarettes soaked in the oil concoction, which also included chainsaw bar oil and tobacco."

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Builder embezzles a sex change
Sun Herald | Submitted by: Albert Bsales
"A homebuilder living on Breckenridge Street in Port Charlotte has been charged with bilking a customer of almost $300,000 to pay for his sex-change operation. Frank Patterson Hague, 55, also known as Jennifer Patterson, was arrested Saturday on 63 counts of passing forged documents, 63 counts of grand theft and one count of scheming to defraud, according to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement."

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Monkeys destroy library
Indo-Asian News Service | Submitted by: Bob_McBob
"Scores of monkeys have swamped a girls' college in the hill resort of Darjeeling in eastern India, destroying thousands of books, stalling classes, clawing and slapping the students. The monkeys have torn to shreds at least 6,000 books in the library and broken furniture. The damage to property caused by them exceeds Rs.60,000 [a considerable sum in monkeymoney.]."

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Paintballer shot in retaliation
Denver Post | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Three pranksters shot paintballs at pedestrians walking along the street Monday night until one of the victims fired back with a real gun, striking one of the paintball shooters in the head. Jeremiah Witherwax, 21, was in the intensive-care unit Tuesday at St. Anthony Central Hospital." Unfortunately, it's not at all clear whether the victim will even survive, let alone remember the hard lesson the shooter tried to teach him.

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Television watchers dumb
StickyMinds | Submitted by: Cliff_Anderson
From a couple weeks ago, but we missed this one: "Programming to thousands of cable subscribers living north of Detroit was interrupted just before midnight on Feb. 27 by a test of the emergency alert system. Then, instead of reverting to Jay Leno or David Letterman, every channel began showing Arabic-language programming from ANA Television, or Arab Net... The mixup triggered about 200 calls to Comcast's local call center and caused "a lot of other people to contact the police station in a panic."

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The award for most tortured infant goes to...
The Scotsman | Submitted by: Paul Sanders
"In court it was heard that the toddler was starved of food and water, horrifically beaten and drugged with a powerful sedative before he died weighing less than two stones. The two-year-old had been locked up naked in an unheated room for days and was so thin that his ribs and shoulder blades were sticking out. At the trial, a doctor told the court that the child was covered 'head to toe' in 150 injuries, which included a crescent shaped bite mark on his arm."

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