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March 27, 2002

Fourth grade boys oral sex each other
Austin American-Statesman | Submitted by: Rio
"Police are investigating allegations that five fourth-grade boys performed oral sex on one another during class at least twice at Marble Falls Elementary School.. Marable said the acts took place during a free reading time, when everyone in the classroom, including the teacher, is supposed to be reading. The boys had retreated to beanbag chairs in the back of the classroom and were using their coats to hide from the teacher, the parent said."

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Violent sleep sex
CBC | Submitted by: Zonkey
"In the first group were two women who made sexual sounds in their sleep. While embarrassing, their symptoms were considered relatively harmless. The second group, consisting of a man and a woman, experience periods of violent masturbation in their sleep, which left them bruised and sore."

Read article... and This article...

Wings are next plastic surgery fad
Guardian | Submitted by: Kit
What's next for Greta van Susteren? "A respected American surgeon says that, within five years, he will be able to graft wings and tails on to human beings... Surgical techniques already in existence can be used to stretch torso fat and rejig rib bones to create a wing. Although no human would be able to fly, they would resemble angels and have full sensation in their new hanging, boned flaps of flesh."

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Strategically placed walnuts
Edmonton Journal | Submitted by: sahaidak
"The billboards say: See, they're nuts, and depict morning DJs Terry Evans, Steve Zimmerman and Bill Cowen standing naked, holding strategically placed walnuts. The council has ruled the controversial ads contravene a section of the advertising standards code and offend too many people. They must be removed by April 10."

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Musk ox flavored condoms a big hit
Canoe | Submitted by: NakedJumpingJacks
"Free condoms supposedly flavoured with traditional foods such as caribou, musk ox and arctic char have become the favourite collectible from this year's Arctic Winter Games in Iqaluit... Although the packages claim the contents are flavoured, the condoms don't really taste like muktuk, or whale skin. It's just a way to draw attention, said Armstrong."

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Campus mural has KKK crossburning
Indiana University | Submitted by: Beth
"The Woodburn mural has proven controversial over the years because it includes an image of robed members of the Ku Klux Klan burning a cross. It also includes an image of a white nurse taking care of a black child and a white child. Historians say the images represent Benton's effort to display the full array of Indiana history: postive and negative. Over the years, some black students have objected to the KKK image on the mural, saying it is a racist symbol that makes them feel unwelcome and creates a hostile learning environment."

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Cartoon Network censoring Speedy Gonzales
Fox News | Submitted by: Pete
"And where do you draw the line with a medium that, by its nature, relies on caricature for humor, Mukhtar asked. 'What about Pepe LePew? His chasing of unwilling females surely sends the message to children that's it's OK to stalk and attack them if they resist', he wrote in an e-mail. 'Plus, because he's French, does this mean that all Frenchmen are sexual predators?'

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Pop up urinals to dot English landscape
Reuters | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
To keep those bloody rotters from peeing on the sides of buildings, some clever blokes have installed "self-cleaning telescopic urinals, which Westminister City Council hopes to have in place by autumn, will emerge from under the ground and be retracted in the day via remote control." Well, Bob's your uncle, there's a penguin on the telly, your teeth would be bad, too, if you had to eat this 'orrible food, etc. (insert lousy English joke here)

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