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February 13, 2002

Supreme Court rules dildo is a weapon
Canadian Press | Submitted by: Soylent
"A giant bamboo dildo used in the sexual assault of a woman is a weapon, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled Tuesday... Justice Louise Arbour noted: 'The insertion of an object like that into a body cavity, if the person is not consenting, makes it a dangerous object.'" THE SUPREME COURT HAS SPOKEN.

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Gay Sex & Crack Cocaine = Terrorism Hijinx!
New York Daily News | Submitted by: z0rak187
Two strapping young lads admitted to smoking crack and having sex in an airplane bathroom. Their wacky antics prompted two F-16s to intercept because the airline thought it was a "terrorist thing". Perhaps not the best way to join the Mile High Club.

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Man jailed for shaving eyebrows
London Telegraph | Submitted by: Santtu
"Paul Gilhaney, 28, asked police if he could shave his stubble before the [police line-up] parade but when he emerged from the police station bathroom his eyebrows were missing. He told the supervising officer he had a medical condition. The officer said: "You had them earlier - when did they fall off?" [In unrelated news, Paul Gilhaney will be starring in the next Pink Floyd film.]

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Big Brother cares what you read
Salon | Submitted by: Macki
"Tattered Cover's ordeal began in March 2000, when the Adams County District Attorney's Office contacted Meskis to inform her that the Drug Enforcement Agency was planning to subpoena the store for one of her customer's sales records.... The DEA planned to strengthen its case by tying the suspect's illegal activities to his purchases of books outlining how to make methamphetamine."

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Bali Amok
The West Australian | Submitted by: Skippy
"Ashley South stripped naked, appeared to gain superhuman strength, attacked his mates, stabbed himself twice with a Coke bottle and threw himself from a hotel balcony three times. It took 10 people to subdue the frenzy until he was ferried to hospital where he died before a chartered aircraft could fly him to Perth... Mr Jordan said he ran to get a restraint and heard a bottle smash on the way back. Mr South then stabbed himself twice with a broken Coke bottle, causing deep chest wounds. 'I screamed,' Mr Jordan said. 'He then swan dived off the balcony again.'"

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Baby moose falls through roof
Anchorage Daily News | Submitted by: anonymous
"An 8-month-old moose fell through the fiberglass roof of a shed Tuesday at Bell's Nursery on DeArmoun Road. (Photo by Bob Hallinen)"

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