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February 09, 2002

The dreaded urine bomb
San Francisco Examiner | Submitted by: Mr. Ramon
A single Priority Mail package addressed to the CIA, FBI, Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld and several other agencies and government officials made its way to a Federal office building in San Francisco on Thursday, where it was X-rayed and suspected of being a bomb. Turned out it was just a couple of bottles of urine sent by some crazy old bat. "She clearly did not intend what occurred," U.S. postal inspector Doug Nunes said. "Her intent was to just get them to help. It was probably not the best way to get help."

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Town enacts ban on public erections
Press Enterprise | Submitted by: sahaidak
"Supervisors unanimously passed a township ordinance banning public nudity Thursday night, even going so far as to prohibit erections in public. The law seeks to prevent, among other things, "the showing of covered male genitals in a discernible turgid state."

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The World's Greatest.... pedophile?
Chicago Sun Times | Submitted by: Joe
"Chicago police are investigating whether R&B superstar R. Kelly--part of today's opening act at the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City--had sex with an underage girl and videotaped the illegal act. A 26-minute, 39-second videotape, which was sent anonymously to the Sun-Times last week, shows the singer-songwriter performing various sex acts with the underage girl."

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Numb and Number: Thticky thituation tholved
Calgary Sun | Submitted by: anonymous
Darwin strikes on the playground, though nonfatally: "I didn't believe it would stick," she said later -- her tongue swollen with frostbite -- after previously being warned of the hazards of touching her tongue to frozen metal. Stuck and hidden from view on a pedestrian overpass on 64 Ave. N., Amanda screamed in terror when she couldn't free herself."

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Extra credit for anti-abortion protests
Associated Press | Submitted by: Ginna
Archbishop Wood High School near Philadelphia offers a morality class which gives students extra credit for protesting abortion clinics. [Why can't they picket the Roman Catholic Church for harboring pedophiles?]

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