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January 22, 2002

Three Little Hitlers
London Telegraph | Submitted by: Soylent
Exploring the New York branch of Adolf Hitler's family tree: "I was to discover that the Hitler bloodline was carried on through William Patrick's four sons - one of whom died in a road accident in 1989 - and that the brothers had decided in a remarkable pact not to have children themselves in order that Adolf Hitler's genes would die with them."

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Drinker offends shopkeeper's sensibilities
Mayo News | Submitted by: Lakemask
"They all seemed to have a lot of drink taken and they started to get rowdy. I noticed that one of them was fiddling with his trouser belt. He opened his trousers, produced his penis and said to me: "Have you got a condom to fit this". [Note to self: great pick-up line.] One of the others told him to stop and they tried to get him out of the shop. They said they were only asking about condoms."

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English amnesiac may be gay porn star
Canadian Broadcasting | Submitted by: Soylent
"A man who tried to convince Canadian authorities he was an uppercrust Englishman suffering from memory loss, may in fact be a gay porn star from France... [Vulcan magazine editor] Spence says Lecheit posed naked for publications such as Euroboy magazine and acted in videos such as At Home with Tom and Friends, and that's how he was recognized." [Sorry to blow your cover, pal.]

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Teacher seduces a string of boys
Times | Submitted by: Soylent
Hot for teacher: "Ms Gehring was arrested last February after rumours had spread and a worried mother alerted police. The supply teacher is alleged to have had sex with a boy of 15 in an alleyway, in a lavatory at a party and in a garden at a New Year’s Eve party; sex with another 15-year-old at the same New Year’s Eve party; and sex with the first boy’s 14-year-old brother after getting drunk on Malibu at another party."

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Brown Invaders Proliferate
USA Today | Submitted by: Soylent
The newsletter for World Church of the Creator sported the headline above, basing their conclusion on census data. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to extrapolate the final result of the demographic changes that have taken place just in the 1990s — the white race in the United States is facing extinction." We're not really clear if they're recommending fumigation or extraction, but the truth is that middle class people tend not to breed (children are such a bother), and this is independent of race. To stop the brown ones from breeding, the World Church would best use its resources by trying to make them a little bit better off.

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South Australian Pot Fiasco
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Smokedot
South Australia is considering rolling back its liberal marijuana laws. It's not that the laws themselves are bad; the problem is the rest of the country did not liberalize at the same time. People are going to use pot and nothing can be done about that fact. Allowing citizens to grow it themselves takes it out of the hands of organized crime. But if neighboring states do not do the same, criminals will take advantage of the safest places to grow and export to where prices are highest, which is where it is most illegal. And the situation devolves into exactly what has happened.

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