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January 12, 2002

Man torches giant goat by accident
Cleveland Plain Dealer | Submitted by: dj pie
"Fortified by a couple scotches and some powerful pain pills on Dec. 23, Jones respectfully - if unsteadily - plucked a piece of straw from the 30-foot effigy. Then he flicked his cigarette lighter and lit the straw to salute the artistic arsonists of years past....Somehow, the flame touched off the whole goat, which went up like a . . . 30-foot straw goat. He watched in horror."

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The company would like some of your sperm
BBC | Submitted by: Bo
Company-wide email for LGC Group: "Sorry for the e-mail, but the Crime Scene DNA Lab needs some semen samples for making practice forensic exhibits. Please visit the toilets on the first floor nearest to Block 1 between 10am and 5pm. If you are able to provide a sample in one of the tubes and place this in the ice box this would be much appreciated."

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Whiteys darkened
Associated Press | Submitted by: Sociopath
"A statue based on the famous photograph of the flag-raising at the World Trade Center site is being criticized because the three white firefighters in the picture have been transformed into one white, one black and one Hispanic. Some firefighters and their families say the 19-foot bronze is political correctness run amok and an attempt to rewrite history."

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A Darkie Whitened
Skynews | Submitted by: Soylent
"The billionaire star appeared at the American Music Awards ceremony in Los Angeles sporting what appeared to be a cavity in his nose. British newspapers splashed the picture across their pages on Friday with headlines such as the Phantom of the pop world and Beauty and the Beast." [After the "Whiteys Darkened" story above, turnabout is only fair play, but we're probably going to get hell for this anyway. Just remember this is Michael Jackson we're talking about, look at the damn photos.]

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Holocaust fun for the family!
New York Post | Submitted by: Pete
"Among the works to be exhibited are: LEGO Concentration Camp Set, by Zbiginiew Libera, featuring a LEGO toy box with a picture of a miniature death camp made with LEGO blocks; Giftgas Giftset, by Tom Sachs, a series of poison-gas canisters with designer labels; Itís The Real Thing: Self Portrait at Buchenwald by Alan Schechner, the artist holding a Diet Coke inserted into the famous photo of emaciated Jews being liberated from the death camp."

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Action in Argentina
Reuters Photo | Submitted by: Soylent
A policeman in Argentina shoots a protester.

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