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January 10, 2002

Vatican issues pedo guidelines
Voice of America | Submitted by: Trent Steel
It's no secret that the Roman Catholic Church has more than its fair share of pedophiles. It's starting to affect the bottom line: churches in the US have had to be closed to pay for pedophilia settlements, and it has been estimated that a whopping $1 billion has been paid out in settlements over this issue. And so now, the Pope has issued regulations for use against those who dip into their altar boys. But because these are embarrassing to the Church, they're in Latin.

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Miss France candidate had spine stretched | Submitted by: Soylent
Last year in April there was a hoax that Miss France was a man. That was false, no matter how well hung she was. But one of the Miss France contestants this year did have her spine stretched to meet the height qualification. She has been disqualified but is demanding the winner, Sylvie Tellier be measured with a caliper.

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Gruesome yet romantic!
CNN | Submitted by: Soylent
"Two rotting bodies, a champagne glass, wilted roses and a love note are part of a gruesome discovery that is continuing to baffle Singaporean investigators... Using a locksmith, police opened the car to find the man's body, spattered with candle wax and covered by a tablecloth in a wicker basket in the back seat of the vehicle."

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Exorcism ends in dehydration death
London Free Press | Submitted by: FalseProphet
"A 19-year-old London man struggled the last three days of his life to escape his bedroom, his arms and legs strapped to chairs with neckties, witnesses say. Walter Zepeda died of dehydration, an autopsy showed, his slow death allegedly watched by his parents and a priest who says the teen might be have been possessed by the devil."

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Ohio gun law unconstitutional
Associated Press | Submitted by: Soylent
A judge in Ohio has thrown out the state's restrictions on carrying concealed firearms: "Amidst all of the baying from gun opponents is the irrefutable fact that there will always be people in our society who refuse to follow any rules and how can never been reasoned with or rehabilitated. These people have no conscience and no qualms about doing harm to innocent persons. As a consequence, every law-abiding citizen of this state has the right to protect him or herself with a concealed firearm."

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UFO fragment for sale, cheap
Florida Today | Submitted by: Art
This nutball has a "UFO fragment" available for $9M. And strangely he's been getting a surprising amount of media attention. "Hughes says he's been interested in UFOs ever since he had a sighting at age 21, when he spotted bowling ball-sized objects with exhaust flames at about the height of a telephone pole. He will also tell you he saw God on the Schuylkill Expressway in Pennsylvania. It came in like a star about 30 degrees off the horizon, but closed to within 500 feet in a mostly white but partly gray and blue hue, and it was showering energy, "like a paramecium being emitted."

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Man hit by 12 cars
King 5 Seattle | Submitted by: anonymous
"A stranded motorist who attempted to cross the southbound lanes of I-405 at Renton near 44th Street was struck and killed shortly after midnight Tuesday. The State Patrol says the driver of the first car stopped. But as many as 12 more cars hit the man and kept going."

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Marijuana Year in Review
AlterNet | Submitted by: Soylent
Last year summarized, for potheads. My personal favorite: "The nephew of Attorney General-designate John Ashcroft received probation after a felony conviction in state court for growing 60 marijuana plants with intent to distribute the drug in 1992- a lenient sentence, given that the charges against him often trigger much tougher federal penalties and jail time. Ashcroft was the tough-on-drugs Missouri governor at the time."

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