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December 19, 2001

Sex Pistols to taint Jubilee
Globe and Mail | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
The Sex Pistols--what's left of them--have been asked to regroup to spoil the Queen's celebration of her 50th year on the throne with a repeat of their original anti-royal anthem, "God Save the Queen". Don't know how they'll fare sans Sid Vicious (who suicided 20 years ago), but at least they now know how to play their instruments.

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Santa menace continues, in Brazil now
Reuters | Submitted by: Rabid Koala
"The unidentified Santa was handing out candy to motorists stopped at a traffic light when he yanked the draw strings on his bag of sweets, pulled a revolver from his belt and fired at a woman who was entering her car parked nearby, said a spokesman at the Sao Paulo police department."

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Amber waves of penis: Yanked
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Soylent
"The faculty unanimously decided to distribute [X]press Magazine, a student publication, after department Chairman John Burks last week yanked copies of the latest issue from news racks around campus because of a cover shot he called "a field of waving penises." [And what, pray tell, is wrong with such a field?]

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Attacks of 9-11 an excuse for gun registration?
CNS | Submitted by: Soylent
Senators Charles Schumer and Edward Kennedy are using the terrorist attacks of 9-11 as an excuse to introduce a bill that is a de-facto registration of firearms. Never mind that the terrorists that day used nothing more complicated than fists and boxcutters, and that gun registration has never been demonstrated to have any negative effect on crime whatsoever. It would be, however, one more intrusion of government on the lives of ordinary people.

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Final solution looms for Japanese crows
Associated Press | Submitted by: Ginna
Municipal workers in Tokyo intend to gas 7000 feral crows that have been menacing the city. "The aggressive crows are as adept at picking off prairie dogs at the city zoo as they are at ripping open garbage bags and littering the Japanese capital's streets with rotten food."

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