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December 06, 2001

Deep heat broomstick sodomy
Hawkes Bay Today | Submitted by: Stile
They sure know how to do their violent forced sodomy, down under: "The victim of a broomstick sex attack screamed and struggled as the stick coated with Deep Heat was driven into his anus." For those who aren't familiar with it, Deep Heat is one of the worst substances you want up your bum. A broomstick is probably another thing you don't want up you. Seven youths have been charged for the birthday party incident.

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Two penises lost
Africa Online | Submitted by: Africa Online
One death has resulted and two young boys have lost their penises this week in botched circumcision surgery at Mdantsane in South Africa. Both female and male circumcision is practiced in certain areas of Africa, for cultural reasons. "The bad thing is that those two boys will survive without their male organs. It is a sad and painful thing." Yes. It is.

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Columbine diaries posted
Westword | Submitted by: Max
Westword has posted portions of the writings of Eric Harris, one of the two Columbine shooters. "If by some wierd as shit luck my and V survive and escape we will move to some island somewhere or maybe mexico, new zelend or some exotic place where americans cant get us. if there isnt such a place, then we will hijack a hell of a lot of bombs and crash a plane into NYC with us inside iring away as we go down."

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Reports of their deaths exaggerated
New York Times Service | Submitted by: Scarecrow
"Heard belongs to one of the more peculiar subsets created by the aftermath of Sept. 11, people who found their way onto one or another of the lists of dead but who are in fact alive. Many were distant from the towers when they crumbled. Others narrowly eluded death. For logical or illogical reasons, however, their names got swept up among the many who did die in the ruins of that day."

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Wanking as art form
Reuters | Submitted by: Leviathan
All this time you were wiping it away with tissues. Israel Mora, however, found a creative outlet for his msturbatory abilities... performance art. "Level 7", his latest work, consists of seven glass vials of semen to be put on display at the Banff Center in Calgary, Canada. Mora fancies himself an artist! Our verdict: Wanker.

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Public Safety Announcement
Sun | Submitted by: Max
Attention. Do not photocopy your ass. "Safety experts say there is a risk of the copier glass breaking and the machinery causing injury." Instead, presumably you should photocopy your face, your breasts, your cat or other housepets to fulfill this desire.

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New prime number record
BBC | Submitted by: Soylent
The distributed GIMPS project has located what is now the largest known prime number, a Mersenne prime which is two to the power of 13,466,917 minus one. Location and verification of primality took 13,000 computing years and was spread over the computers of 130,000 volunteers running GIMPS software. This four million digit number is both an exercise in massively parallel naval gazing, and a demonstration of the power of distributed computing.

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Gun restrictions losing support
Christian Science Monitor | Submitted by: Soylent
After the 9-11 attacks, more people are coming to the realization that they should be exercising their constitutional right to keep and bear arms: "The Second Amendment takes on increased relevance for many in shaky times. Following the Los Angeles riots of 1992, for example, there was a rush to southern California gun stores. Handgun sales in the state jumped from 329,000 in 1991 to 382,000 in 1992 and to 433,000 in 1993."

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