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November 23, 2001

Disappointing penis now even more so
NSW Daily Telegraph | Submitted by: Ross
"A man is suing his plastic surgeon after a penis enlargement operation left him diminished in size and constantly erect was never guaranteed the operation would work, the District Court heard yesterday." This man is Wayne Collings, age 53. Let it now be known by the world that his inadequately sized penis is now even smaller! (Plus he has a boner.)

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Man sets face on fire
Chicago Tribuine | Submitted by: Gweeds
"A man shouting freedom and liberty for all doused himself in a chemical and lit himself on fire this morning at a suburban Illinois shopping mall, witnesses said... The man appeared to have containers of cleaning chemicals strapped to his chest. He had a leg stretched over the railing as if to jump down to the center court, where some 500 shoppers were waiting in line."

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Canadian film censorship onerous and stupid
Variety | Submitted by: Soylent
One thing that is not fully understood in the United States is that Canada is not exactly a free country. You cannot even show a film unless it has been "approved" by your local film review board, and that board may refuse such approval for any reason whatsoever, even dislike. Which is what appears to have happened in this instance, where Fat Girl, an artistic, critically acclaimed art house film has been rejected because three of five board members find it goes beyond their prudish expectations. The other two board members published written dissents: "This intelligent handling of a controversial subject, adolescent sexuality, does not glorify or glamorize the subject. If anything, this is an anti-sex film."

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$2M damages sought over bad parenting incident
Deseret News | Submitted by: Soylent
Paul Wayment's family has filed an idiotic claim demanding $2M on the grounds that searchers were "negligent" in that they were unable to locate his two year old son, whom he had abandoned in an automobile while off hunting. After Wayment was sentenced to only thirty days in jail for his actions as a bad parent, he killed himself. Now the family wants to shift the blame to searchers and collect some loot.

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Reward of $50M for capture of Bush
Hindustan Times | Submitted by: Soylent
The Taliban have upped the stakes in the Wanted Dead or Alive game: "The Americans have offered $25 million for Osama. We will give $50 million for Bush even though we are a poor country." The State Departement has received 22,000 tips on Bin Laden's whereabouts since the WTC attacks, but the number of tips received by the Taliban regarding George W. Bush's whereabouts was not immediately available.

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U.S. turns off Somalia's internet
BBC | Submitted by: Soylent
After the United States ordered assets of Al-Barakaat and Somalia Internet Company frozen, all Internet service to the nation of Somalia has ceased. Traffic which was previously carried on the Internet must now be done on phone lines, but there aren't enough lines. Barakaat is a banking concern, but is Somalia's largest company, and is believed to be one laundering a large amount of funds to the al Qaeda organization.

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Taliban sledgehammered priceless art
Times | Submitted by: Soylent
Two Taliban ministers went through Kabul's National Museum and smashed works of art, concentrating on priceless pieces. "The Taleban started with one of the prized possessions, a clay image of a bodhisattva, a Buddhist who seeks complete enlightenment, made 1,600 years ago. When the Taleban saw the historian crying, they threatened to kill him."

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