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November 14, 2001

The Stench of Cat Feces
Hampton Daily Press | Submitted by: Mistermagnet
What's that smell coming from Virginia? It could be the 120 cats wriggling in their own poo in the hotels of Newport News. "This is the worst I've seen for the number of cats," said the director of the Peninsula SPCA. The owner of the Green Oaks Motel swears, "I specifically told them, no pets."

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Falwell urges christianization of Bin Laden
Associated Press | Submitted by: HeOfNoName
The Rev. Jerry Falwell told Florida's Baptist ministers Sunday that even Osama bin Laden's soul could be saved if he converted to Christianity, but he would still deserve to be killed. It took Falwell's 12 year old grandson's urging for him to apologize for this lunacy.

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Harry Potter prelude to Antichrist
Australian Daily Telegraph | Submitted by: ross macpherson
Certain religious authorities, namely ones with the bugs up their collective butts, consider Harry Potter to be a precursor for Bad Things To Come: "Harry Potter conditions children to think of witchcraft as harmless and even fun. That way, when the real Antichrist arrives on the scene, they will be preconditioned to accept him."

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Potty Leads to Suffering
Washington Post | Submitted by: sbistro
"Two sky marshals -- one with a gun drawn -- and a third man ordered Ortiz to get on the ground. He complied without a struggle, Cannon said. He kept saying: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just wanted to go to the bathroom." [Three words: Zero Tolerance, Baby.]

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Jewish foreskins promise eternal youth
Pravda | Submitted by: Mistermagnet
Does Dr. Mengele continue to practice in Wisconsin? "The experimental period was over, it was about time to enter the world market. The scientists established a firm to grow the wonderful cells and they are going to make a perfect business on the rejuvenation operations. The face, made of the foreskin cells will not be ageing!"

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The many threats of terror
New York Review of Books | Submitted by: Soylent
"It seems disgustingly remarkable that those enemies within our borders, when brainstorming in search of the best ways to murder as many civilians as possible, need only turn to articles like Garwin's to replenish their strategies of mass assassination." -- Letter by essayist Stanley Crouch to the New York Review. And you can read it here. Judge for yourself whether it is a blueprint for terrorists, or common sense.

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Franco assassination plot uncovered
BBC | Submitted by: Soylent
Joseph Stalin may have ordered Spanish dictator Francisco Franco assassinated in 1937, MI5 and MI6 files reveal. "He did in fact contact and sent to Spain a young Englishman, a journalist of good family, an idealist and a fanatical anti-Nazi." That man: Kim Philby.

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Tabloid sets up ugly boy
The Sun | Submitted by: Ryano
The boy who was too ugly to be hired by a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise in the UK has been set up by the tabloid Sun with one of their "page 3" babes. For a sleazy stunt, it certainly may have worked, but the fact remains that he's still kinda ugly.

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