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November 07, 2001

The worst job in the world... or best?
Student Magazine | Submitted by: Jay Santos
"Worked his way round the zoo, he finished his rounds at 3 pm in the afternoon, carrying out his duties with the tapirs, the rhinoceros, giraffe and the gorillas, amongst others. "Each animal is different," he said, removing his gloves, now speckled with traces of polar bear spunk. "The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards."

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Don't talk about Fight Club
Salt Lake City Tribune | Submitted by: Soylent
"When law-enforcement officials responded to a fight south of Price, they found about 80 combatants and spectators who said they were part of a "fight club'' being organized at the College of Eastern Utah."

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KKK party pics get Frat suspended
Atlanta Journal-Constitution | Submitted by: Scarecrow
"Auburn officials said the two students were expelled from Delta Sigma Phi, which along with Beta Theta Pi held a Halloween party in which some members dressed up in Ku Klux Klan robes and blackface, including one with a noose around his neck."

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Constable calls for legal heroin
Guardian | Submitted by: Scarecrow
"As drug reform campaigners warned MPs that decriminalisation would only tackle the worst excesses of a crime-dominated drug culture, Francis Wilkinson, former chief constable of Gwent, declared that regulation of the drugs market in Britain would be "the most effective crime prevention measure any government could take".

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Cave technology holds up well
Knox Studio | Submitted by: Soylent
"After the Soviet invasion, an extraordinary underground compound in Paktia province withstood 57 days of aerial bombing. Unhurt inside the 41 connected caves in the Zhawar subterranean complex were a mosque, hospital, library, hotel, and a maintenance area, all equipped with electricity and heat. Not only did hundreds of Soviets die in failed raids on the complex, but the mujahideen fighters managed to shoot down 24 Soviet helicopters as well."

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Evil Evildoers of Evil
SF Gate | Submitted by: Soylent
"When Bush employs phrases like bring the evildoers to justice over and over, 17 times in one speech alone, and he furrows his brow like a serious Muppet and offers carefully scripted reassurances deliberately lacking in polysyllabism and detailed explanation because that would be, you know, complicated."

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Court rules stall sex not private
Atlanta Journal-Constitution | Submitted by: Soylent
News you can use department. "The Georgia Supreme Court on Monday upheld a Juvenile Court's earlier ruling that a 14-year-old girl had no right to privacy when she had sex in a public bathroom at Rockdale County High School." [Uh oh. This changes everything.]

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