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October 12, 2001

Bin Laden's Mother was a Concubine. Really.
BBC | Submitted by: Soylent
A second groovy 1970's photo of Osama bin Laden as a teenager has surfaced, showing him age 14 at Oxford, England. But the most interesting detail regarding Osama's background that is revealed in this story is that his mother was a concubine, a fact that troubled the young lad greatly.

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Man Shoots off his own Nuts
Austin American-Statesman | Submitted by: Soylent
In an attempt to avoid prison, a convicted child molester shot off his testicles with a shotgun. The man, Milton Wayne Somers, lives in Cut and Shoot, TX (yes, that's a real place, population 903. We looked it up.). Removal of his ballsack took two shots, presumably one per testicle.

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Tom Brokaw Anthrax Target
NBC | Submitted by: Paratact
An NBC staffer opened a letter to TV anchorman Tom Brokaw, and caught anthrax. It is a case of cutaneous anthrax, quite different from the airborne anthrax that has hit the National Enquirer, and much more easily treated by antibiotics. Since now anthrax has become a threat to the mainstream media talking heads, we're going to be hearing even more about it in the future!

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Osama offers $50K for capture of U.S. Soldiers
Irish Times | Submitted by: Soylent
"Reports say Osama bin Laden is offering $50,000 to anyone who catches a US soldier alive. An al-Qaeda spokesman also says bin Laden is offering $3,000 for US uniforms and $1,500 for assault rifles."

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Antidote for Anthrax in the works
Austin American-Statesman | Submitted by: Soylent
"What they've demonstrated is that they can give a certain amount of the toxin to mice, and it will kill them all in very short period of time. If they give mice the antibody to the anthrax toxin, you can make all of those animals survive."

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Chemical Attack in France stopped
Agence France Presse | Submitted by: Soylent
The conversation mentions a "a can of liquid" they wanted to "test". "Where, in France?" asked the first. The reply was in the affirmative. "This stuff is better than the other?" asks the first again, while the second responds: "Yes it's better. Because it's more effective. Because the liquid suffocates you as soon as you open it."

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Batman, Robin, Casper rob Auto parts store
Seattle P.I. | Submitted by: Pants
First Bert's loyalties are called into question, and now superheroes have been drawn into the fray -- are they heroes or crooks? "Robbers dressed as Batman, Robin and Casper the Friendly Ghost robbed an auto parts shop early yesterday morning, the Spokane County Sheriff's office said."

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$2T Offer for GE and AT&T and AOL
Chicago Tribune | Submitted by: Soylent
Ade Ogunjobi of Nigeria has filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission a tender offer of $2 Trillion for: GE + AOL + AT&T + AT&T Wireless Services + Hughes Electronics + Marriott International. The companies listed have a market capitalization of $650 Billion, but the problem here is the tender offer is a stock swap for shares of Toks, Inc. Ogunjobi is the CEO and sole owner of Toks. Such a deal.

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